I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
