yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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