I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
