so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
NoShamevember. You game?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
