you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
