Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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