Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it's like heaven, but drunker
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
