think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
