My hand turned me down
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
