can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
