Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
