is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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