I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
