I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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