just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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