FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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