OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
we made out on top of his cat.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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