I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
