is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
