If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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