Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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