He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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