My liver just broke up with me...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
