We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
