At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Do vagina's smell?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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