porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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