I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
