ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
