whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
