Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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