i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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