you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
