i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
