I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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