i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
