Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
