Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
