Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
