just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
