hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My feet surprised me
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
