she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Mom said you looked used
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
