i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
