Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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