I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
