im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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