just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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