god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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