That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
