Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
