He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
