I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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