after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
