bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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