Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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