i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
