I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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