like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I am one with the molecules
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
