I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
tell me about the eggs
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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