I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
